MIND | AC1D

"EULOGIES "

welfare babies
peasants of heaven
exiled by gibberish expression
in the name of higher art.

They smoked.
methamphetamine
and watched sitcoms
and stumbled on legos
spread across the living room floor, all in the name of the
AMERICAN DREAM.

unfortunately, this eluding dream and its justified jargon was a mouthful for the children of immigrant parents

who so boldly, tattooed their faces and smoked fentanyl, overdosing over and over into a state of higher consciousness.

they spit on their own graves to quench their thirst for love. it was a great time to be alive, but unfortunately, an even better time to die.

inhale the reflection
let it glimmer in the moonlight
I am the king of nothing
at last, my empire of dirt

"AH FUCK"

pill popper. cry baby. astral child, no more music. just white noise and whispers.

she told me to shut the fuck up, that i talk too much & perhaps i should have said something.

but what's the point?

im a drug addict. a pavement baby. an isolated loser who lives in the shadows of attention.

and no one can hear me because this god damn city is too loud for all of us to make any sense.

i saw you laughing
Through the tears as your mind
slowly slipped away

"TRAIN TO LODI"

...i think back to those small town dreams with that inner city backdrop, back when i still felt alive..before i realized that scars don't close, they mend. 3 hour phone conversations with nothing to say...but what was i to do?

its not like i stood a chance against the sands of time. i guess i was always a ghost. halfway between you and myself. we were doomed from the start, the best thing i ever did was break your heart...so you could find love and peace.

and you did...

i wish i hadn't played my part..but you look so happy now with your husband and two kids and that makes losing you worth it. it makes the void worth it.